*I recently met someone on a dating app and they wanted to Snapchat so we could see each other before meeting in person. He looked nothing like his pictures. So I assume he’s completely misrepresented himself in everything else? How do you find out if someone is lying on a dating app? And what’s your advice on the information you put about your own profile?
*Ding ding ding...I would say you are on the right track! If his pictures look nothing like what you saw when you used Snapchat, chances are, his information in other areas probably contains at least a slight (please note the sarcasm) misrepresentation of who he really is. I definitely recommend people use all resources available, and there are many, to investigate people they might be interested in meeting when the “first contact” has been on a dating app. You have Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, Snapchat, and many other tools at your fingertips. Unfortunately, one of the only real ways to know if someone is lying to you or misrepresenting themselves on a dating app is to actually use some form of video communication or meet in person. Risky...I know! Call me crazy…but it is my professional experience that when someone is lying about who they are on a dating app, they will probably lie about many other things in a relationship going forward. Not really a great way to start some new relationship endeavor, but seems quite common. That being said, if they misrepresent themselves in pictures, I might call it quits and try again with someone new. Honesty is one of the highest regarded values in a relationship! You probably shouldn’t assume this level of honesty will change, if they can’t even be truthful about how they look. Besides, confidence is such an attractive feature! If they are that insecure in themselves and how they look, they most likely have some personal self confidence issues they need to work on before being healthy enough to enter into a relationship. As far as what you put on your own dating app profile, I obviously believe it should be HONEST! Pictures need to be current and true to who you are. I believe pictures should show your personality as much as pictures can. Be honest about what you are looking for by being on the app. If you are looking for a long-term relationship, don’t be afraid to say it. If you are looking for a hook-up, don’t be afraid to say that either because there are plenty of people who will jump on that opportunity as well! It is just part of the society we live in today. I know many single people who wish there were an app strictly for hook-ups and another app strictly for those looking to actually meet real people and form quality relationships. If you have values important to you that might be deal breakers in a relationship, it might be a good idea to include those. Dating is about getting to know people and decide if they hold long-term relationship potential or even marriage potential! The more honest everyone is, the less broken hearts and frustrated single people there will be!
If you’d like to ask Dr. Misty an anonymous question, please write info@abouttown.io
Writer, Speaker, Radio & Television Contributor, Dr. Misty Smith is the Founder and Managing Director of the Birmingham, Alabama based Mind, Body & Heart Wellness Clinic. She is an ASSECT Nationally recognized Certified Sex Therapist (CST), as well as a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) of more than 15 years, who focuses on assisting individuals and couples to achieve their optimal emotional, relational, and sexual health through a results-oriented counseling process tailored to the needs of the individual or couple. In addition to being ASSECT Certified, Dr. Misty has a PhD in Counselor Education from Mississippi State University and her EdS in Counseling from the University of Alabama. She can be reached by email at mistysmithphd@mbhwellnessclinic.com or mbhwellnessclinic.com.
The advice offered in this column is intended for informational purposes only. Use of this column not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, or legal advice. If you have specific concerns or situations requiring professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately qualified individual. The opinions or views expressed in this column are not intended to treat, diagnose, or replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from another licensed professional. This column, its author, and the publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation addressed. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.
