I've been on several dates with a great guy. He's very sweet, attractive, polite and I like him a lot. The problem? He hasn't kissed me yet, and I want him to! How do I let him know that I'd like him to take the initiative? Maybe he's just nervous that he's not a good kisser?
You may be correct. Maybe he is afraid he is not a good kisser. However, I don't think you or he will probably go through life without kissing...either in this relationship or another. There might be many reasons why he hasn't kissed you yet. Maybe you could try a few different things.
Subtle hints might be a great way to start. Watch a romantic movie, and point out all of the amazing kissing scenes letting him know exactly what you like. Lean in a little closer. Make lots of eye contact. Touch his face or even his lips, if the moment calls for it.
Not-so-subtle hints might be required if you still haven't gotten that kiss you desire after all other attempts have failed. Tell him what you think about the appropriate number of dates before kissing should happen. Kiss him on the cheek, and linger to allow a little time for him to react with a kiss. If none of these do the trick, just kiss him!!! Maybe he isn't good at reading signs and signals. Why do we have to wait for the guy to make that move? Sometimes you just have to go for what you want. Just remember to enjoy the moment, and be prepared in case he is shocked or doesn't reciprocate.
I've been friends with a great girl for the past year, and I think she'd be fun to date. She's single and I want to ask her out, but I can't get a good read on if she'd be interested. How do I approach her and possibly get out of the "friend zone?"
She may not consider you more than a friend since this has been a year-long friendship. You probably want to consider whether or not you are willing to make things awkward and/or ruin what seems to be a very good friendship. If the answer to those questions you need to ask yourself is yes, you might try just being direct!
After this length of time, it would seem that you probably both know each other well enough to just have a discussion about what it would look like for the two of you to go out on a date. Pose it as a hypothetical question that might not require an immediate answer, and it might not seem threatening to your friendship. The biggest thing I think you need to remember is to not make it awkward. You really like her. It seems like your friendship is really good. You really enjoy your time with her. You don't want to cost yourself any of these things that you have invested time and energy into over the past year. Just don't be weird about it if she says she's not interested in dating. It might just not be the right time.
I've been friends with a guy for awhile and I'd like him to ask me out, but I'm not happy with his communication style. He used to text me, but now it seems we primarily communicate through Snapchat! Of course, I love the funny videos and pics he sends, but I'd really like him to call me and ask me out over the phone like a grown-up (call me old-fashioned if you want).**### How can I convey this to him?
It's so unfortunate that the verbal way of communicating has become so obsolete! There is so much one can learn about a potential partner from the tone of their voice, their initial reaction to a question and the effort they put in to making that call and keeping it going. NOW, we text, we Snapchat, we Instagram, we tweet and use any other method that requires little thought and little actual effort!
If REAL communication is what you need, don't settle for less. There are still some "old-fashioned" guys out there if this one doesn't work out. Be honest. Maybe he thinks that you are completely happy with this form of communication. If you have been responding to him using the current form of communication, Snapchat, he might not think he needs to make any changes.
You want the "old-fashioned" kind of communication, so model that for him. Call him and talk to him, or maybe send him a Snapchat of you holding your phone with some scribble writing that says "call me." Ask him to go for coffee, and then really rave about how much you enjoyed actually talking to him in person and hearing his voice. Let him know that you enjoy a more personal type of interaction. It's amazing at how much someone can adjust when they actually know what makes that special someone smile.
If you’d like to ask an anonymous question to Dr. Misty, please email it to: info@abouttownsite.com
Writer, Speaker, Radio & Television Contributor, Dr. Misty Smith is the Founder and Managing Director of the Birmingham, Alabama based Mind, Body & Heart Wellness Clinic. She is an ASSECT Nationally recognized Certified Sex Therapist (CST), as well as a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) of more than 15 years, who focuses on assisting individuals and couples to achieve their optimal emotional, relational, and sexual health through a results-oriented counseling process tailored to the needs of the individual or couple. In addition to being ASSECT Certified, Dr. Misty has a PhD in Counselor Education from Mississippi State University and her EdS in Counseling from the University of Alabama. She can be reached by email at mistysmithphd@mbhwellnessclinic.com or mbhwellnessclinic.com.
The advice offered in this column is intended for informational purposes only. Use of this column not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, or legal advice. If you have specific concerns or situations requiring professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately qualified individual. The opinions or views expressed in this column are not intended to treat, diagnose, or replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from another licensed professional. This column, its author, and the publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation addressed. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.
