"Every year I say I’m going to lose weight as a New Year’s Resolution, and every year I don’t. I know you’re not a personal trainer, but what am I doing wrong from a mental standpoint to stay motivated? Of course I’m busy, but who isn’t? In fact, it seems the fittest people I know are the busiest. It’s effecting my relationship with my spouse, and just importantly, it’s effecting the way I see myself. It upsets me because of the way I look, and it upsets me that I don’t have the willpower and disciple to see-through a year-long fitness and diet regimen."
A: Let’s be clear... you are definitely NOT alone in this popular, yet rarely achieved, New Years Resolution! Research shows losing weight and getting more exercise are among the top 3 most commonly broken New Years Resolutions. It’s important to determine your type of motivation. Self-determination theory suggests that “the type of motivation is more important than the amount of motivation when setting out to achieve a weight-loss and/ or exercise goal.” Which of these statements feels most like you?
I feel like my spouse doesn’t find me attractive so I have to lose weight. External motivation is purely external to your interest in losing weight and is done in efforts to obtain a reward or avoid a negative consequence. Once those are gone, so is the motivation.
I would feel like a failure if I didn’t lose weight. Introjected motivation is also motivated by external reasons to change, but is done for slight internal reasons as well. Unfortunately, these internal reasons have a negative focus...our least favorite “friends” guilt and shame. - It is important to me to be successful at losing weight. Identified motivation is when you view losing weight as a positive or valuable behavior. It holds a strong sense of personal importance.
It is a fun and exciting challenge to accomplish my weight loss goals. Intrinsic motivation is when you get simple pleasure from doing the activity. This motivation involves focusing on the task, and provides interest, enjoyment, and challenge.
Research-based on this theory of motivation has shown the primary factors in the maintenance of exercise and physical activity are enjoyment, perception of competence, and intrinsic reasons for weight loss. Think about this when choosing your diet plan and exercise routine. They are not “one size fits all.” If you enjoy sweets, a low carb diet will cause you to feel like you are restricting or depriving yourself. You run the risk of feeling like someone is dangling a cookie in front of your face constantly. Eventually, you will eat the cookie, feel like you failed at the diet, and just go ahead and eat the entire box of cookies. Maybe counting calories would be a better option because you can eat everything in moderation. This concept functions the same with exercise. If you hate running, work with someone on a weight training routine. If you don’t want to feel like you are working out at all but love dancing, try incorporating a Zumba or pole-dancing class into your routine.
It really does begin with your type of motivation! If you are finding enjoyment in it, you will make time for it. If you are making the time for it, you will begin to see results. Once you see results, you might find yourself more intrinsically motivated to keep it up for the year..or maybe even for life! Considering it a lifestyle change and not a diet might be a good start because the mere mention of the word “diet” usually has a tendency to make us just wanna run out and eat a tub of ice cream!
If you have an anonymous question you'd like to ask Dr. Misty, please email it to info@abouttown.io.
Writer, Speaker, Radio & Television Contributor, Dr. Misty Smith is the Founder and Managing Director of the Birmingham, Alabama based Mind, Body & Heart Wellness Clinic. She is an ASSECT Nationally recognized Certified Sex Therapist (CST), as well as a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) of more than 15 years, who focuses on assisting individuals and couples to achieve their optimal emotional, relational, and sexual health through a results-oriented counseling process tailored to the needs of the individual or couple. In addition to being ASSECT Certified, Dr. Misty has a PhD in Counselor Education from Mississippi State University and her EdS in Counseling from the University of Alabama. She can be reached by email at mistysmithphd@mbhwellnessclinic.com or mbhwellnessclinic.com.
The advice offered in this column is intended for informational purposes only. Use of this column not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, or legal advice. If you have specific concerns or situations requiring professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately qualified individual. The opinions or views expressed in this column are not intended to treat, diagnose, or replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from another licensed professional. This column, its author, and the publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation addressed. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.
