What brings you bliss? Like pure, total happiness? Wine? Chocolate? A game with your kids? Bourbon? A long run? A favorite vacation spot? A certain smell? A song you know by heart?

A group of scientists began tracking the health of 268 Harvard students in 1938 as part of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. They wanted to know what factors led people to live long, happy lives. The original men, who included President John F. Kennedy and Washing Post Editor Ben Bradlee, are now approaching 100 and 19 are still alive. Others succumbed to alcoholism, dementia and schizophrenia. Over the years, the men’s children and their wives were added as well as a group of inner-city Boston residents. The study is one of the longest projects analyzing adult life ever conducted.

So, what did they find?

Researchers were surprised to learn it’s not fame, fortune, IQ, professional success or genetics that lead to health and joy. Those who maintained close personal relationships with friends and family members lived the longest, healthiest and happiest lives.

Robert Waldinger, the fourth and current director of the study and professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, says, “The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health. Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.”

The three big take-aways:

  • Social connections improve health and well being and loneliness kills
  • The quality of our relationships is more important than the quantity
  • Strong relationships are not only good for our bodies, they improve brain function

Research shows those with stronger relationships tend to have better health over their lifetimes. “When we gathered together everything we knew about them about at age 50, it wasn’t their middle-age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old,” Waldinger shares in his popular TED Talk: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness, viewed more than 20 million times. “It was how satisfied they were in their relationships."

Waldinger shares that it was possible for people who suffered challenges early in life to successfully turn their lives around. It was also possible for people enjoy good lives that fell apart later. The common themes are isolation and a lack of social support during those turbulent times.

“Loneliness kills. It’s as powerful as smoking or alcoholism.”

— Robert Waldinger

Waldinger practices meditation every day and says the study has led him to put more energy in his relationships. “It’s easy to get isolated, to get caught up in work and not remembering, ‘Oh, I haven’t seen these friends in a long time,’ ” Waldinger said. “So I try to pay more attention to my relationships than I used to.”

We asked what makes About Town readers happy. Here are some of their responses!

My dogs.
‍-Julie

The sound of the Gulf of Mexico.
‍-Allen

Cross-stitching and knitting.
- Leah

Floating in the lake with friends and family.
-Darcy

The arrival at any place—driving under the gates at Disney, across the bridge to Hilton Head, making the last turn to the lake.
-Ashley

The sound of a baby belly laughing!! It’s contagious and you can’t help but feel blissful!!
‍-Susan

Cooking a large meal for family and friends and sitting down together to share the meal and one another’s company...I really miss it!
‍-Sarah

Spending time at the beach with my husband, and wine.
‍-Scott

Reading on my porch with my plants, the afternoon sun and the beginnings of a cool fall breeze.
‍-Donya

Live music!! I’m in total bliss when a band plays my favorite songs and I’m surrounded by those I love and we sing the songs loud and proud to each other. With a nice drink in our hands, too. I miss those events.
‍-Karla

My beautiful, wonderful, joy-filling and blessed grandchildren. Watching my daughter with her grandchild.
‍-Jean

Going to see one of my favorite bands in concert.
-Karen

A beautiful charcuterie board and a glass of Prosecco.
-Jamie

Watching the Iron Bowl with life-long friends
‍-Elizabeth

Students...the pitter patter and chatter in the hallways of a school building.
-Kitty

Watching the sun rise or set over the water.
-Mary-Hassell

Cooking with friends or gatherings of people—at home, or at events like the Vestavia Hills Wing Ding, Gumbo Gala, Tailgate Challenge, Chili Cook-off, Iron Bowl gatherings and more... HOPEFULLY SOON!!!
-Roger

That moment on a family vacation or at a family dinner when I stop to soak in the faces and voices of my people! For a moment, the world is perfect!
-Stacey

Dogs, the smell of rosemary or baking bread, the sound of trains in the distance.
‍-Shelaine

A fabulous deep-tissue massage that takes away all the tension in my neck & shoulders!
-Patty

A fabulous bottle of wine enjoyed while listening to 80s music and dancing and singing around my kitchen!
-Sumita

Hugging the people I love.
-Ellise

Doing things to help others and random acts of kindness.
-Sandra

Playing music, going to see live shows, playing with my kids.
-Trey

Watching my students perform. Being onstage in front of an audience. Solo kayaking on the lake. Coming home to someone who loves me.
‍-Diane

Hearing my kids laugh. Better if we are on the beach while they are doing it, but I can be having the worst day and then I hear an eruption of laughter from the five humans making my hair turn gray and all of a sudden the world seems right.
-Michelle

Relaxing on the beach with a daiquiri.
‍-Stacey

Watching my adult children laugh at each other’s jokes and silliness. During Covid, the two of them would sing and dance, make jokes and just have a great time. My husband and I laughed right along with them. It truly was blissful.
‍-Mary Kaye