### How Do I Deal With My Family Drama Over the Holidays?  
*How do I deal with my family drama during holiday get-togethers? I love my family but the intimacy during social occasions always leads to a fight. My father has become bitter, and always manages to get in petty subtle insults. My sister in-law is awful. Her constant comparative language and expressions of superiority over me, along with the fact I’m still single is an invitation to a fight. Meanwhile, simply put, my mother drinks too much and may be overly medicated. I’m too scared and too embarrassed to bring a date!***A: Oh the JOYS of the holidays! I suppose the quick and easy answer is “don’t go.” Maybe it’s time to consider scheduling some travel over these extended periods of time off work! Unfortunately, this is not an option available to everyone. That being said, I think the right answer probably sounds more like “be confident in who you are and the attitude/mood you want to have during the holiday event.”
It seems you are quite aware of how everything will play out at this event. Be prepared! Are you confident in yourself, or will you allow your sister-in-law to have some fictitious power over your emotions? What actions on your part typically instigate or encourage the fighting? A fight requires more than one person, and you are not required to be the second person. We all have a choice in how we respond to the chaos. What choice will you make?
You are concerned about your mother’s drinking or overmedication. However, what exactly can you do about this? My assumption is the answer is likely “nothing.” One thing you might try is not taking alcohol to the party. Maybe this would be a good year to request an alcohol-free holiday!
Let’s not forget you are probably driving to this event. If you aren’t driving, be sure you have money for an Uber and possibly a hotel room. These options allow you the freedom to walk out the door if things get a bit too out of hand for your holiday expectations.
As for the fear and embarrassment you feel regarding bringing a date, consider it a good way to throw them in the deep end without a life vest...HA! They will sink or swim, but at least you will know sooner rather than later! Seriously though, this IS your family! Good, bad, a little crazy...it’s all part of you! It’s where you became you even if you don’t appear much like them at this point in your life.  If they can’t handle your family over a holiday, there’s the possibility you will experience issues in the relationship forever. Prepare the lucky suitor, and go enjoy the parts of your family you love. Focus on the positives, and be prepared to bolt if things get too crazy!
**If you have an anonymous question you'd like to ask Dr. Misty, please email it to info@abouttown.io.**

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Writer, Speaker, Radio & Television Contributor, Dr. Misty Smith is the Founder and Managing Director of the Birmingham, Alabama based Mind, Body & Heart Wellness Clinic. She is an ASSECT Nationally recognized Certified Sex Therapist (CST), as well as a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) of more than 15 years, who focuses on assisting individuals and couples to achieve their optimal emotional, relational, and sexual health through a results-oriented counseling process tailored to the needs of the individual or couple. In addition to being ASSECT Certified, Dr. Misty has a PhD in Counselor Education from Mississippi State University and her EdS in Counseling from the University of Alabama. She can be reached by email at mistysmithphd@mbhwellnessclinic.com or mbhwellnessclinic.com.

## The advice offered in this column is intended for informational purposes only. Use of this column not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, or legal advice. If you have specific concerns or situations requiring professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately qualified individual. The opinions or views expressed in this column are not intended to treat, diagnose, or replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from another licensed professional. This column, its author, and the publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation addressed. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.