Dating can take up a surprising amount of mental space. This advice from About Town’s September print issue offers six reminders for keeping perspective, making connections and leaving room to enjoy your life along the way.
1: Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations About Dating
Distinguish between what you want and what you need in a partner. Wants are negotiable, needs are not.
2: Keep Things in Perspective
Don’t make your search for a relationship the center of your life. Concentrate on activities you enjoy, your career, health, and relationships with family and friends.
3: Build a Genuine Connection
Focus outward, not inward. Be curious. When you’re truly curious about someone else’s thoughts, feelings, experiences, stories, and opinions, it shows—and they’ll like you for it.
4: Put a Priority on Having Fun
Instead of scouring dating sites or hanging out in pick-up bars, think of your time as a single person as a great opportunity to expand your social circle and participate in new events.
5: Handle Rejection Gracefully
Don’t take it personally. If you’re rejected after one or a few dates, the other person is likely only rejecting you for superficial reasons you have no control over.
6: Watch for Relationship Red Flags
The relationship is alcohol dependent. There’s trouble making a commitment. Jealousy about outside interests. Controlling behavior. No one-on-one time.
Keep these reminders handy as you meet new people, and make time for the interests and relationships that already matter to you.
For more lifestyle reads and local ideas for getting out and connecting, Sign up for the About Town email.
